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Now You Know

by Sydney Sue

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1.
Circling 02:41
Away on the air with the sun in your hair Falling needles that scream from the arms of the trees Falling smiles from the clouds, sea of green all around The circling diadems, we belong to them after all Oh the ashes that lie, all wet with your cry But you burn autumn leaves, balance apples on beams And your life, as you know, but a boat that you row Circling diadems, you belong to them after all
2.
These days I've searched for perfect words And now I'm left staring at my knees Ghosts dancing rings of dirt 'Round buried laments and pleas In dark and empty rooms I always search for you, my dear Now the sunlight is running dim And I have turned to skipping stones Writing the words to my own hymn My loving you must be postponed On brighter urban streets I can search for me, my dear If you ever want to change your mind Love is sleeping in my heart Might be a bit hard to find If it's long that we have been apart On sleepy nighttime streets Your turn to search for me, my dear
3.
Longing Gaze 02:33
I'll write a letter, tell you how I'm feeling Just like a lemon you were slowly peeling Through toughened skin, to sour emotion I lost myself that night in amber station Sappy insects, crystal harmonization Stuck inside a tree, it wasn't bad for me Soon my stomach flipped right out the window I'll bury something where you'll never go I stepped on your bare feet But I was so discreet, Trapped in a holographic longing gaze
4.
Space girl blues, don't know what to do The earth is not my home Space girl blues, don't know what to do But stare through the starry dome When I found out Ziggy Stardust was human I felt so alone, does he know what he's doing to me? It's all fine and dandy to stomp in the leaves, But where is the candy that grows in the trees? I love baby goats and the birds and the bees Little kids make me laugh and feel so carefree But it's just not the same Space girl blues, don't know what to do The earth is not my home Space girl blues, don't know what to do But stare through the starry dome When I found out Ziggy Stardust was human I felt so alone, does he know what he's doing to us? It's all fine and dandy to stomp in the leaves, But where is the candy that grows in the trees? Space girl blues
5.
Dizzy 02:30
He took my hand, then left me waiting A brighter morning couldn't be With every look, we were celebrating That new life sprang inside of me Reassuring gold magic visions The soft embrace of northern air I longed for comfort in my derision Somehow it seemed he never cared
6.
i want to be a silver queen of only autumn fruit your fingers glide across the screen; you see me but i'm blind to you i wanted to be a golden rogue with a pomegranate in her left hand and craft my gentle tales in rose from a warm orange townhouse on the coast i'm tangled in my anxious moods, i was so down and low you made me, it's no secret-- now you know. you lit a spark in the eye of a girl like me, oh dear! some children call me mary, some men call me venus why don't you call me yours?
7.
it is 176 miles to bloomington, and i am your faithful passenger and i count the spots on all the cows as the flat towns grow their yellow hills and strong stone cliffs. down goes the sun we laugh so loudly we fill up the car with air so happy it begins to fly and pleasantly i think you are the sweetest boy i know, more of us should be like you the solemn gray waits before us far you say, "we are open books when touched," i nod and softly melt into the dark and it is time to move on and meet new friends so we wave goodbye until we know when and i pass the night on a rosehip dream i eat fat black olives in a turkish restaurant sip tea in a ribbed crystal mug and katie says, "south bend moves here when we've grown, and it makes me sad," the wooly forest here is what i want but not if it means i must close my covers 176 miles from home
8.
maybe i'm wrong if i think it's true it's thoughts like these that weigh down on you wishing you could control the way you feel putting everyone before yourself and what is real am i the nicest girl to be found in this big scary world? because it sure often feels that way i can't say no and i love you all in every way see me walking through chicago streets funny looks as i wave to the people i see and before i know it, i've been pushed right over feeling like a trampled four leaf clover am i the nicest girl to be found in this big scary world? because it sure often feels so true broken and sad i'd still do anything for you am i the nicest girl to be found in this big scary world? it too often seems that way maybe it's just not my day
9.
Night Song 03:33
A gentle breeze awakes the trees I hear your voice in rustling leaves At night the world just seems so close To perfect lies and eyes of ghosts And when your heart is set on me I find it hard to go to sleep And I wonder if I'll always be this way In love by night winds while I'm free by day And this boy laughs just like a fawn A flower blooms and I am gone He and I will fly into stars Above city lights and sounds of cars When darkness seeps into my brain It will be clean, not full of pain And I wonder if I'll always be this way In love by night winds while I'm free by day
10.
The highs are high as city towers The lows are low where lonely showers I won't awake those passing hours Your love is wilting just like a flower And it seems I'm ill again I want to be your friend forever and ever Forever and ever you'll be The highs are high as city towers The lows are low where lonely showers I won't awake those passing hours Your love is wilting just like a flower And it seems I'm ill again I want to be your friend forever and ever Forever and ever you'll be
11.
Lexapro 05:21
try to build the strength to get out of this damn house and go out to a place where i know you and no one else but i can't seem to be this girl you've come to know after so many months, knocked on my knees pill by pill, that's how it goes now i can't move my legs i'm trapped outside myself girl, party girl i'm not who i promised i could be i've fooled myself with a hope, with some belief where i went wrong was growing up in the dark so long how can a girl like me hope to keep up with all of you? i came in like a ghost of marcia, marcia brady so behind in my mind i wore a turtle neck and bell-bottom jeans but i know in a different time i'd be this girl you've come to know trying to fake it, long blonde hair pill by pill this is how it goes now i can't say a word they just get stuck inside my throat
12.
Wait a minute, I thought you were the sane one I thought I was the insane one But here you are, making the same mistake Day after lousy day Wait a minute, I thought you were the one with a choice I thought I was the one without a voice But here I am, deciding anyway And here your words have gone away I want to free myself I want to scream my worries right out loud I want to dance around and I want to burn every thought to the ground I want to free myself from you Don't you too? Wait a minute, I thought you were the sane one I thought I was the insane one But here you are, making that same mistake Day after empty day
13.
I know that right now just isn't the time I know it's too late to make you mine But I thought I'd let you know It kills me to let you go But I'm happy if you're happy I've been your best friend for quite a while When we walk these dead streets, we do it in style And I want to let you know It kills me to let you go But I'm happy if you're happy I know I should have told you I love you so long ago And now we're going separate ways It's making me go Out of my mind, and you know the whole story When I'm down and blue, you're always there for me Just wipe my tears before you go And hold me tight, and so very close You know I'm happy If you're happy
14.
i was walking alone one day, too many words in my head then the sun came in and the weight of them fled my sister doesn't know how much i love her i want to hug her, but i stop myself sun, take my sorrow, burn it for the light of tomorrow something beautiful sings beyond the heavy weeping i see her there, beyond the rain i wonder if my friends, too, hold back their love for me when i reach for their hands and i hold nothing i wonder if they're waiting for the sun to come and kiss their closed arms until they open them and light pours out
15.
Oh No Honey 03:54
honey happy over there, summer standing in the square happy, happy, escape by a smile, chasing happy a country mile catch a collared dove by the big beech tree summer sitting happy stream, covered, toasting to a dream diamond laughter, saddened cry, all my laughter tall to sky catch a frog and feed him dinner lonely, lonely as i am, longing days down on the sand summer sunlight, golden skin, breaks right through the sad i'm in i remember who i am, and it's not much, but it's good by me

about

Now You Know is a collection of my demos, most of which were recorded in either my bedroom or the downstairs bathroom of my childhood home. They are very special and nostalgic to me, and serve as a musical diary for my high school years up to my first year of college. Through many first loves, existential crises, and episodes of mental illness, these songs have kept me sane. I hope from the bottom of my heart that you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed creating them. Much love to you all!

credits

released August 8, 2017

Guitar, keyboard, clarinet, tenor saxophone, vocals: Sydney Hargis
Drums on "Dizzy": Matt Lewis

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Sydney Sue South Bend, Indiana

Musician and producer based in South Bend, IN.

Contact: sydneysuemusic@gmail.com

Soundcloud: soundcloud.com/sydneysue

Instagram: www.instagram.com/sydneysuemusic

Facebook: www.facebook.com/sydneysuemusic
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